Fermata
by Chiharu Yuizaki
Summary: He knew their marriage was falling apart, but the only thing he knew how to do was to keep on hoping, holding the note as directed by life. HarryDraco SLASH


Title: Fermata

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: yes, I am J.K. Rowling, just writing away in because I couldn't possibly write about Harry and Draco making out in front of the whole Great Hall in my books, you know.

In music terms, Fermata is a dot under a curve which means to hold the note as directed.

You don't want to hurt me,

But see how deep the bullet lies.

Unaware I'm tearing you asunder.

Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.

Running up the hill by Within Temptation

_Dedicated to Anna Trammell, me like you long time! -_

**XXX**

He knew about the affair almost from the beginning, but it had taken him years to admit that yes, their relationship is in shambles, that yes, he had fallen out of love with him, and that yes, he had found somebody else to be with. He loved Draco, more so than anything else before, and just the mere idea that the blond was doing something like this behind his back was enough to make his heart contract as if being stepped on by a bulldozer.

But why had this happened? Their marriage had been a happy one and even from the beginning, he knew it was a dream come true. That Draco really did love him, all the more proven by the soft stared accompanied by gentle smiles that he caught the blonde into. So what had gone wrong? What did he do that had made the man he loved more than life itself turn against him, and look to another person for comfort?

What?

The early days of their marriage had been nothing short of a wonderful dream. Draco had been so kind, so considerate, so thoughtful, a prince charming from a fairytale told through the eyes of Harry. The blond was always smiling, always by his side. Each day that they were together was like paradise, he should have known then and there that something that perfect would never last. Nothing ever did.

It wasn't until a couple of years later that it had truly changed. A total eclipse. The things that before they had done together, with teasing smiles and happy thoughts now seemed like such a burden. Talking to each other had now seemed like such a troublesome thing.

At first, he ignored the signs, because truly, what should it matter, if they didn't talk anymore about such trivial things like 'would you prefer the oolong over the orange tea?' because he should have known by now that the only tea Draco ever had was oolong tea and that he didn't need to tell Harry every single thing. Harry had hoped then that with a little bit of patience, everything would be back as they were before. They would be happy and lovey-dovey again.

The only problem was that it didn't exactly go as planned. It seemed that the less he tried to initiate contact, the less it was given. Now, Draco barely offered the whispering sweet nothings to him, barely smiled with such gentleness anymore, barely talked without straining himself. And although it hurt him very much, he had admitted to the fact that they had fallen out. Draco had fallen out of love.

But even after discovering that fact, he knew that the blond would never leave him. No, never. He was far more honourable than that. He knew that even though the blonde would suffer being unhappy with him, he would never leave. Because they had promised each other that through thick and thin, they would be together, in sickness and in health, and 'til death do they part. He knew that Draco would always be there, whether he wanted to or not. Because that was just the way Draco was.

Years passed and he convinced himself that he was content and happy. He had a husband who was always on time for dinner, always bought him presents just for the sake of giving, a happy relationship. AND although he knew was just deluding himself, he could agree more that ignorance was bliss, because it was the only thing that was keeping him from crumbling down and shattering into a million tiny pieces.

His self-induced dream was broken when in one day, walking around Diagon Alley, he passed by an Italian restaurant, and feeling hungry walked in, oblivious to the pain that would soon come his way. Truth be told, he didn't know whether to condemn or rejoice that fateful day. On one hand, he now knew what he had been blind to. But on the other hand, he had lost his last remaining strand of hope for the happy picture of his family.

When he entered the restaurant, and was seated in a booth, far from prying eyes, he heard a laugh. A familiar laughter that he hadn't heard in years, Draco's.

Turning his head to his left, and craning it a little, he was stunned into seeing what perhaps, would be the most tragic thing in his life. There sat Draco, holding the hands of a man Harry did not know, smiling a care-free smile that Harry hadn't seen a long while. The two had seemed perfectly comfortable, like they had known each other for a long time, and like this was a regular thing for them to do.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and stood up. He turned away from the scene, fighting the urge to cry right there and then, and urging his legs to move, if only from out of their sight before giving in.

Walking away from the restaurant, he barely noticed the change in scenery. It was only when he was greeted by a bark that he realized that he was standing on the front of his house, a dog licking his limp hand, tears streaming down his face.

This was it. This was the reality that he has to face from now on, the burden that he must carry with him, the burden of knowing the truth.

And when Draco gets home from work later on in the day, he would smile at the blond, greet him a welcome home, ask him whether he wanted to eat dinner or have a bath first, and smile some more. Because this was his life now.

This is the life he chose.

The reality he has to face.

_fine_

_This story was inspired by listening to First Love by Hikky-chan. It's kind of depressing, because even though Draco has already fallen out of love with Harry, he's still by his side, no matter how unhappy both them are. _

_sighI just feel really bad after writing this, knowing how unhappy those two are! _

_Up next then, is Chapter one of Two Beats, One Heart. yay!_


End file.
